I’m Sorry

written Circa 1983,

I don’t know quite
What I want to say…but

I know I need to try to communicate this pain…
(I wonder if pain can be excommunicated?)

To somehow explain
The source of my discontent.

We came together for the wrong reasons,
You and I.

You needed a breeze to catch your sail;
I needed an anchor to hold me steady.

But,
We were needy nonetheless.
Two souls on emotional welfare
Standing for a while in the same breadline.

I don’t know, but I think the problem is
That needs are fickle.

I offered you only my needs,
And you filled them. Full to the top
And overflowing.

Now they’re different,
And your bucket’s empty.

I’m sorry I didn’t offer you my strength.
I didn’t know how.

I’ve always been afraid someone might take it!
And leave me naked or

Upon seeing my steely side,
Reject who I really am…

(always easier if people reject who you’re really not).

I didn’t intend to disrupt your life
To steal through you green pasture
Leaving it brown and lifeless
From my passage.

I only intended to love you,

But needy people don’t know how,
And,
There’s nothing lonelier than two people

Trying to make love.

 

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